Hi Everyone.
I missed you last week so Happy Belated Father’s Day to all those men out there who have given some guidance or support to another in a fatherly way.
This week I had the privilege to be part of a wonderful outreach in NE Ohio thru Convoy of Hope. While there, I was honored to meet a wonderful senior couple who were married only a year. She was her spouse’s care provider as well as his sweetheart. It touched me while it tore at my heart to see this beautiful couple whose love transcended what medical expenses and everyday living expenses were doing to cause need in their lives. It strengthened my resolve to see a National Day for Care Providers happen. Opening our eyes to some of their struggles and doing something to help would be such a gift, even if it was the smallest of gestures.
I have received emails of support and suggestions of other organizations where I can propose the idea. Care giving organizations so far are for it. I met this week with a woman who was helpful in suggesting that my next step might be to find a Senator or some other member of Congress who could support the idea and bring it to the floor.
As this unfolds, my original date for July is obviously too close so my latest thought for a date is the 4th of August, which I chose simply because there are four letters in the word care and eight in provider. I still like the idea of a date in summer, but I am also very aware that the date is flexible if the day can happen.
Those who see the difficulties of giving care are so supportive of this and together I know we can make it happen. While I continue to email organizations, get feedback and look into congressional support, I thought this might be a good opportunity to share some of the wonderful help that is out there for the care provider with organizations who want to assist to make the burden lighter.
These are just some organizations and websites devoted to helping the care provider. I apologize that they cannot be direct links. I worked on it much of the day but my computer would not allow the link and when I tried to work around it I couldn't get it through Blogger. So if any of these are of interest, they should be easy to cut and paste onto Google:
Family Caregiver Alliance:
http://www.caregiver.org/caregiver/jsp/home.jsp
Medicare.gov:
http://www.medicare.gov/caregivers/
Family Caregiver Support Network:
http://www.caregiversupportnetwork.org/default.asp?id=1
Empowering Care Givers:
http://www.care-givers.com/
Caregivers Home Companion:
http://www.caregivershome.com/
Alzheimer’s Association:
http://www.alz.org/living_with_alzheimers_caring_for_alzheimers.asp
Alzheimer’s Foundation:
http://www.alzfdn.org/?gclid=CIu74fTku6ICFRBx5Qodime46g
AARP:
http://www.aarp.org/relationships/caregiving/info-04-2010/prepare-to-care.html
The Alzheimer’s Store
http://www.alzstore.com
I hope these can be of help. Pass them on. And if anyone knows of a congressman who knows firsthand what it is like to provide care, please pass this on to them. Thanks. Mary Ann
Monday, June 28, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
National Day Update
This was going to be the week to discuss what a caregiver support day could look like and I have been working on a list for the future, but my original plan to have a National Day to support care providers, will need more investigation, research and planning. During correspondence last week about the idea, a previous supervisor asked if I was aware that November is National Caregiver’s Month. I had Googled it and because of my previous work in the Activity field, I was aware of the National Care Giver’s Month, but as I said to her in my reply, I thought the only people who paid attention to those things were Activity Directors because we would plan our calendars around monthly themes.
I received many emails from all over from friends and professionals who were enthusiastic about the idea of doing something directed toward the support of care providers. Only one, a friend who works in activities, mentioned the national caregiver month, which leads me to believe the very thing I was relaying to my previous supervisor.
Hearing from people who were or are care givers themselves and hearing from those who have been in the field themselves for years guides me to want to pursue the idea of a National Day even more.
It is my belief that a specific, condensed focus is easier for people in our world. When there is a day set aside for a cause, like a race or a walk or another type of fund raiser, people can get energy behind it. The same holds true for things like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day or holidays. To have a focused day to support a care giver could bring consideration to them and raise awareness to their needs in a positive way.
So, my priorities this week as far as this issue is concerned, is to do what I can to find out all I can before launching an attempt to set a date, It could be beneficial to wait and do it in November, but one of the things I know personally from being a care giver for so long, ANY day would be appreciated by the care provider.
Initially I thought of a summer date because much is done in November and December toward giving and because I know those who are giving care to someone who is shut in or limited in mobility, could use a boost during the months when everyone is enjoying the sunshine, picnicking, going on vacations and having summer fun.
So for this week the idea of a National Care Giver Support Day is in investigative revision. I will get back to you next week with my findings. In the meantime, any ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Mary Ann
I received many emails from all over from friends and professionals who were enthusiastic about the idea of doing something directed toward the support of care providers. Only one, a friend who works in activities, mentioned the national caregiver month, which leads me to believe the very thing I was relaying to my previous supervisor.
Hearing from people who were or are care givers themselves and hearing from those who have been in the field themselves for years guides me to want to pursue the idea of a National Day even more.
It is my belief that a specific, condensed focus is easier for people in our world. When there is a day set aside for a cause, like a race or a walk or another type of fund raiser, people can get energy behind it. The same holds true for things like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day or holidays. To have a focused day to support a care giver could bring consideration to them and raise awareness to their needs in a positive way.
So, my priorities this week as far as this issue is concerned, is to do what I can to find out all I can before launching an attempt to set a date, It could be beneficial to wait and do it in November, but one of the things I know personally from being a care giver for so long, ANY day would be appreciated by the care provider.
Initially I thought of a summer date because much is done in November and December toward giving and because I know those who are giving care to someone who is shut in or limited in mobility, could use a boost during the months when everyone is enjoying the sunshine, picnicking, going on vacations and having summer fun.
So for this week the idea of a National Care Giver Support Day is in investigative revision. I will get back to you next week with my findings. In the meantime, any ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Mary Ann
Monday, June 7, 2010
National Day to Support CareGivers?
Hi!
I am on a mission and I need help to spread the word. I would like to promote the declaration of having a National Caregiver Support Day.
My thought is that July 3rd would be a good date. It is the day before the celebration of our country’s independence. What I know of the plight of care providers everywhere; for them independence is decreased. I would like to see us, as individuals in a nation, recognize the gift they are giving everyday.
This post is just a seed being planted. Next week I will devote my post to simple things that could be done to honor the spirit of the caregiver.
Why did this desire hit me?
This week was another week where the focus of care giving was on my heart and my mind. While talking with people who have given care in the past or are presently providing care, the subject of support was discussed. I heard time and again of people struggling to do what needed to be done without the helping hands that would have made life easier. That and the lingering memory of a couple weeks ago when the term ‘lifeline” was used for the definition that the anchor of having support meant to this individual.
It directed me to go back to my resources and then get on the computer to do some research about support and needs of care givers. It also made me think about the overwhelming statistics that we used to quote when I was at the Alzheimer’s Association and I know they are still quoting. There are 10.9 million unpaid care givers in the United States who are caring for someone with some form of dementia. And an even more daunting figure is the 2010 statistic stating that 52 million informal and family caregivers provide care to someone aged 20+ who is ill or disabled. 34 million of those are caring for someone 50 years of age or older.
In a project done by the Northwest Regional Council of the Area Agency on Aging, a timeline of fatigue was created that documents how care giving without support can result in social, emotional and physical anxiety and by four years into it, many of the effects are poor health of the care provider and an increased earlier mortality rate. Depression is documented to be a consequence for many who are doing this alone.
Adding to the stress, is the increased financial strain that giving care puts upon families. Because of this strain, some of the resources out there that would be of help are not affordable. Such a large group of those who provide care are spouses or other family members who need to weigh costs of medicine, medical supplies, and increased medical appointments as well as the decisions of how to continue to pay bills and meet day to day expenses.
Another reflection for all of this is the overall effect giving care has on the work place. There is a higher percentage of workers who need to take time off work in order to provide care. The fatigue of the caregiver at work affects productivity, even though many care providers look forward to being at work as a “break” from the strain of meeting the physical and day to day needs of caring for someone who cannot care for themselves. And the increased cost of health care needs of the care provider is also affecting business.
Just the simple act of reaching out with a kind word, a thoughtful gesture or a statement of appreciation for what they are going through, can boost the morale and make a difference.
With all of this in mind, a few key components need consideration:
1. Realize that it is harder for the care giver to take the time to teach someone to provide the care in order to get a break than it is just to do what needs to be done. For that reason the majority of care givers turn down help when it is offered.
2. The way to learn how to be of help in order to give the caregiver a break is to start by interacting with the care receiver while the caregiver is present. If you do that for a period of time, eventually the caregiver will have the confidence to let you go it alone. The interaction is usually best if done gradually, increasing in time over visits.
3. Providing care can be physically as well as emotionally draining so some of the things that use to be tended to might now be neglected. I am not surprised, when I go into a home, to see stacks of papers or items, gardening unattended, needed dusting or other things in a home which the caregiver does not have time to do. This can be a source of embarrassment which may be another reason help is declined by the care giver.
4. When a statement of embarrassment is made, it is helpful to say something to the effect, “I came here to see you because I know this can’t be easy and you have been on my heart. Please don’t feel as though you need to entertain me or be hostess. I am here for you, even if it means just a quick hug.”
5. People still need the dignity of feeling like they have some control over their lives even when it is obvious that everything is overwhelming and feels out of control.
6. It is very hard for the majority of people to ask for help, so it is important if a caregiver does ask for help, to let them know your availability and parameters for being able to help.
As I said above, this post is just to pass the word and plant the seed. Next week I will devote the post to ways for making July 3rd a day to honor those giving care. Help me pass the word and meet with me next week. Mary Ann
I am on a mission and I need help to spread the word. I would like to promote the declaration of having a National Caregiver Support Day.
My thought is that July 3rd would be a good date. It is the day before the celebration of our country’s independence. What I know of the plight of care providers everywhere; for them independence is decreased. I would like to see us, as individuals in a nation, recognize the gift they are giving everyday.
This post is just a seed being planted. Next week I will devote my post to simple things that could be done to honor the spirit of the caregiver.
Why did this desire hit me?
This week was another week where the focus of care giving was on my heart and my mind. While talking with people who have given care in the past or are presently providing care, the subject of support was discussed. I heard time and again of people struggling to do what needed to be done without the helping hands that would have made life easier. That and the lingering memory of a couple weeks ago when the term ‘lifeline” was used for the definition that the anchor of having support meant to this individual.
It directed me to go back to my resources and then get on the computer to do some research about support and needs of care givers. It also made me think about the overwhelming statistics that we used to quote when I was at the Alzheimer’s Association and I know they are still quoting. There are 10.9 million unpaid care givers in the United States who are caring for someone with some form of dementia. And an even more daunting figure is the 2010 statistic stating that 52 million informal and family caregivers provide care to someone aged 20+ who is ill or disabled. 34 million of those are caring for someone 50 years of age or older.
In a project done by the Northwest Regional Council of the Area Agency on Aging, a timeline of fatigue was created that documents how care giving without support can result in social, emotional and physical anxiety and by four years into it, many of the effects are poor health of the care provider and an increased earlier mortality rate. Depression is documented to be a consequence for many who are doing this alone.
Adding to the stress, is the increased financial strain that giving care puts upon families. Because of this strain, some of the resources out there that would be of help are not affordable. Such a large group of those who provide care are spouses or other family members who need to weigh costs of medicine, medical supplies, and increased medical appointments as well as the decisions of how to continue to pay bills and meet day to day expenses.
Another reflection for all of this is the overall effect giving care has on the work place. There is a higher percentage of workers who need to take time off work in order to provide care. The fatigue of the caregiver at work affects productivity, even though many care providers look forward to being at work as a “break” from the strain of meeting the physical and day to day needs of caring for someone who cannot care for themselves. And the increased cost of health care needs of the care provider is also affecting business.
Just the simple act of reaching out with a kind word, a thoughtful gesture or a statement of appreciation for what they are going through, can boost the morale and make a difference.
With all of this in mind, a few key components need consideration:
1. Realize that it is harder for the care giver to take the time to teach someone to provide the care in order to get a break than it is just to do what needs to be done. For that reason the majority of care givers turn down help when it is offered.
2. The way to learn how to be of help in order to give the caregiver a break is to start by interacting with the care receiver while the caregiver is present. If you do that for a period of time, eventually the caregiver will have the confidence to let you go it alone. The interaction is usually best if done gradually, increasing in time over visits.
3. Providing care can be physically as well as emotionally draining so some of the things that use to be tended to might now be neglected. I am not surprised, when I go into a home, to see stacks of papers or items, gardening unattended, needed dusting or other things in a home which the caregiver does not have time to do. This can be a source of embarrassment which may be another reason help is declined by the care giver.
4. When a statement of embarrassment is made, it is helpful to say something to the effect, “I came here to see you because I know this can’t be easy and you have been on my heart. Please don’t feel as though you need to entertain me or be hostess. I am here for you, even if it means just a quick hug.”
5. People still need the dignity of feeling like they have some control over their lives even when it is obvious that everything is overwhelming and feels out of control.
6. It is very hard for the majority of people to ask for help, so it is important if a caregiver does ask for help, to let them know your availability and parameters for being able to help.
As I said above, this post is just to pass the word and plant the seed. Next week I will devote the post to ways for making July 3rd a day to honor those giving care. Help me pass the word and meet with me next week. Mary Ann
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Honoring our Veterans
In honor of all those we remember on Memorial Day, I want to send a shout out of thanks to all veterans and their families. Since Memorial Day is meant for those who have given their lives or who have served our country and have since died, I would also like to make this a tribute in memory of them.
Some of the opportunities I have had when it comes to those who served in the armed forces who were diagnosed later in life with dementia, were occasions of enlightenment.
The experiences of going through boot camp, making friends while serving, and sharing what life in the military taught them, was something that could initiate reminiscence. My familiarity with the person’s service background was a help in knowing what questions to ask, but for the most part I learned to stay away from questions that dealt with war or fighting other than very general questions asking about when they served. While most people do not want to discuss the gruesome details of war, they all seem to enjoy the ‘stories’ they remember of push-ups expected, keeping their areas pristine, making beds with military corners, their sergeants, and meals - MRE’s - or mess tents. The majority have a story of why they chose the branch of service they did and what it was like for them the first day they put on the uniform and the first day they wore their dress uniform.
Even when a person’s dementia advanced beyond the stage of being able to reminisce, having a memory basket containing a flag, the cover/head covering of their particular service, an MRE if available, pictures, the symbol of their particular service and bars or awards that meant accomplishments are all things that can bring smiles or tears but more often than not would bring a look of pride.
One of the programs that The Hospice of the Western Reserve has here in Ohio is called the Peaceful and Proud program, which is about veterans honoring veterans. I do know from firsthand knowledge that any time a person in uniform would greet and salute the veteran, there was usually a connection made that was poignant.
Another activity that has been appreciated by many veterans with dementia is a sing-a-long of patriotic songs. The computer can provide the lyrics if needed, and it is amazing how many of the songs will create hand and toe tapping as well as sometimes actual singing.
Memorial Day is a good reminder to us of the need to pay tribute to the gift of service to our country that these men and women left as part of their legacy to us. Dementia does not change any of that. Part of providing care that is very person centered is taking the time to honor those who have honored us by their military service. Mary Ann
Some of the opportunities I have had when it comes to those who served in the armed forces who were diagnosed later in life with dementia, were occasions of enlightenment.
The experiences of going through boot camp, making friends while serving, and sharing what life in the military taught them, was something that could initiate reminiscence. My familiarity with the person’s service background was a help in knowing what questions to ask, but for the most part I learned to stay away from questions that dealt with war or fighting other than very general questions asking about when they served. While most people do not want to discuss the gruesome details of war, they all seem to enjoy the ‘stories’ they remember of push-ups expected, keeping their areas pristine, making beds with military corners, their sergeants, and meals - MRE’s - or mess tents. The majority have a story of why they chose the branch of service they did and what it was like for them the first day they put on the uniform and the first day they wore their dress uniform.
Even when a person’s dementia advanced beyond the stage of being able to reminisce, having a memory basket containing a flag, the cover/head covering of their particular service, an MRE if available, pictures, the symbol of their particular service and bars or awards that meant accomplishments are all things that can bring smiles or tears but more often than not would bring a look of pride.
One of the programs that The Hospice of the Western Reserve has here in Ohio is called the Peaceful and Proud program, which is about veterans honoring veterans. I do know from firsthand knowledge that any time a person in uniform would greet and salute the veteran, there was usually a connection made that was poignant.
Another activity that has been appreciated by many veterans with dementia is a sing-a-long of patriotic songs. The computer can provide the lyrics if needed, and it is amazing how many of the songs will create hand and toe tapping as well as sometimes actual singing.
Memorial Day is a good reminder to us of the need to pay tribute to the gift of service to our country that these men and women left as part of their legacy to us. Dementia does not change any of that. Part of providing care that is very person centered is taking the time to honor those who have honored us by their military service. Mary Ann
Sunday, May 23, 2010
No Bones About It
This has been another week where the focus of conversations I have had are dealing with issues of how to handle life being a care provider while also handling the other roles of spouse, child, parent or grandparent, friend and as a person with an occupation When the medical issues and the nutritional issues and the cognition issues all come into play as part of the concerns with trying to do the best possible job of supplying that care, then it can be so overwhelming for so many.
The way I see it, there are four bones that are needed by the one who is primary to giving care.
First, it takes backbone. The job of caring for another person whose memory is declining takes an enormous amount of strength. I was just talking with a daughter who is the primary care giver for her mother and although she has four siblings, they are out of state and do not understand what it takes for her to give care. So she feels the weight of the responsibility of trying to do the best she can for her mother. We talked about the feelings that responsibility evokes. It takes courage to try to meet needs of the person with memory loss, handle their anger, to get them to all of their appointments, to shoulder the burden of knowing how to help them move forward and to navigate through all the paperwork and people that is attached to the diagnosis. In addition, often the person will need additional physical assistance with dressing, bathing, ambulation and transfers. So having a strong backbone is one of the first requirements for being a care provider.
Second is a funny bone. Care giving takes a sense of humor. It is so necessary to find a funny side in order to survive. Most of the time being able to laugh when the choice is to laugh or to cry, is a healthy outlet to get through the next moment. I can think of the time when my son was just learning to use his new motorized wheelchair, He was still very young and didn’t know to watch out for things behind him when he backed up. He backed the chair into an étagère full of cherished knick knacks, some which were family heirlooms. They all came crashing to the floor and smashed into pieces. His care provider and I were holding our breath for fear that somehow my son would be hurt or cut. He wasn’t. Then our attention turned to what had happened but before either of us could say a word, out of the mouth of that little one came the words, “Oh my, all good things must come to an end”, quoting me from an earlier moment. It turned the moment into one where we all had to laugh. And while I felt the loss, the laughter and the truth of the statement made the moment pass as a new memory for our family’s history books. We all go through things while tending to the needs of another. I remember reading at one time that it is often the mistakes or seemingly tragic moments that are the ones that become our reminiscing stories. I can think of times when I would tell a good friend who could usually see the funny side of things if something was burdensome and she could make me laugh about it. I encourage everyone to find a person like that. So if we can let it tickle our funny bone whenever possible, it is much more fun to return to the story at another time or share it.
Next is the wishbone. This covers much of what I was talking about in last week’s post. Look for hope in those moments when a connection is made. Hope and joy, when it comes to dementia, takes on new definitions. With dementia, I believe hope is looking for the relaxation in breathing, the eyes that say what cannot be said in words, the smile, the occasional clarity of moments – the never giving up the anticipation that a connection can be made, which can be the means to carry us to the next connecting moment. And the joy comes when that connection is made.
One of the hardest things when living with the day to day challenges of dementia, is that just as you are accepting the “new normal” of what is taking place, very often there is a decline and you have to go through the grieving process again and adapt to new changes. That is why desiring positive moments and looking for them is OK. Whenever I was with a person, no matter what stage of dementia, I found it important to talk to them as though they understood me. It was also important that I demonstrated love and respect. My tone of voice could talk to them even if my words could not be understood. One of the things taught at The Alzheimer’s Association was ‘Speak lower and slower’. I think of it as speak soothing and calming. It helps, not only the person but it helps when providing care, because it’s an approach which eases the spirit of the care provider.
Finally there is the tailbone or the “tale bone”. Sitting down to take the time to reminisce is so important. If the person can reminisce with you that is a wonderful gift. If they can look through pictures but cannot relate – tell them the stories. Even if they are in bed and seemingly can do nothing – tell them stories. We do this so naturally when we have babies come into the world. Before they can talk or relate or have any verbal language skills, babies are read to. Or it is very natural to see someone sitting in a rocker or chair, holding a newborn baby and talking to them; telling them all kinds of wonderful things. It is so easy to do for babies. Yet the person who has reached the other end of life who has lost verbal language skills, can no longer relate and cannot talk, need that kind of connection as much as the newborn. Stories can have miraculous impacts and I know that the care providers who realize this have been able to report some wonderful moments. The amazing thing is that each bonding moment provides another story. These are the things that become precious treasures. It’s memories that make us who we are and give our families their history. We leave a legacy by what our existence meant to this world. It is through the memories and stories that live on that we are remembered, so don’t forget the ‘tale bone’. Mary Ann
The way I see it, there are four bones that are needed by the one who is primary to giving care.
First, it takes backbone. The job of caring for another person whose memory is declining takes an enormous amount of strength. I was just talking with a daughter who is the primary care giver for her mother and although she has four siblings, they are out of state and do not understand what it takes for her to give care. So she feels the weight of the responsibility of trying to do the best she can for her mother. We talked about the feelings that responsibility evokes. It takes courage to try to meet needs of the person with memory loss, handle their anger, to get them to all of their appointments, to shoulder the burden of knowing how to help them move forward and to navigate through all the paperwork and people that is attached to the diagnosis. In addition, often the person will need additional physical assistance with dressing, bathing, ambulation and transfers. So having a strong backbone is one of the first requirements for being a care provider.
Second is a funny bone. Care giving takes a sense of humor. It is so necessary to find a funny side in order to survive. Most of the time being able to laugh when the choice is to laugh or to cry, is a healthy outlet to get through the next moment. I can think of the time when my son was just learning to use his new motorized wheelchair, He was still very young and didn’t know to watch out for things behind him when he backed up. He backed the chair into an étagère full of cherished knick knacks, some which were family heirlooms. They all came crashing to the floor and smashed into pieces. His care provider and I were holding our breath for fear that somehow my son would be hurt or cut. He wasn’t. Then our attention turned to what had happened but before either of us could say a word, out of the mouth of that little one came the words, “Oh my, all good things must come to an end”, quoting me from an earlier moment. It turned the moment into one where we all had to laugh. And while I felt the loss, the laughter and the truth of the statement made the moment pass as a new memory for our family’s history books. We all go through things while tending to the needs of another. I remember reading at one time that it is often the mistakes or seemingly tragic moments that are the ones that become our reminiscing stories. I can think of times when I would tell a good friend who could usually see the funny side of things if something was burdensome and she could make me laugh about it. I encourage everyone to find a person like that. So if we can let it tickle our funny bone whenever possible, it is much more fun to return to the story at another time or share it.
Next is the wishbone. This covers much of what I was talking about in last week’s post. Look for hope in those moments when a connection is made. Hope and joy, when it comes to dementia, takes on new definitions. With dementia, I believe hope is looking for the relaxation in breathing, the eyes that say what cannot be said in words, the smile, the occasional clarity of moments – the never giving up the anticipation that a connection can be made, which can be the means to carry us to the next connecting moment. And the joy comes when that connection is made.
One of the hardest things when living with the day to day challenges of dementia, is that just as you are accepting the “new normal” of what is taking place, very often there is a decline and you have to go through the grieving process again and adapt to new changes. That is why desiring positive moments and looking for them is OK. Whenever I was with a person, no matter what stage of dementia, I found it important to talk to them as though they understood me. It was also important that I demonstrated love and respect. My tone of voice could talk to them even if my words could not be understood. One of the things taught at The Alzheimer’s Association was ‘Speak lower and slower’. I think of it as speak soothing and calming. It helps, not only the person but it helps when providing care, because it’s an approach which eases the spirit of the care provider.
Finally there is the tailbone or the “tale bone”. Sitting down to take the time to reminisce is so important. If the person can reminisce with you that is a wonderful gift. If they can look through pictures but cannot relate – tell them the stories. Even if they are in bed and seemingly can do nothing – tell them stories. We do this so naturally when we have babies come into the world. Before they can talk or relate or have any verbal language skills, babies are read to. Or it is very natural to see someone sitting in a rocker or chair, holding a newborn baby and talking to them; telling them all kinds of wonderful things. It is so easy to do for babies. Yet the person who has reached the other end of life who has lost verbal language skills, can no longer relate and cannot talk, need that kind of connection as much as the newborn. Stories can have miraculous impacts and I know that the care providers who realize this have been able to report some wonderful moments. The amazing thing is that each bonding moment provides another story. These are the things that become precious treasures. It’s memories that make us who we are and give our families their history. We leave a legacy by what our existence meant to this world. It is through the memories and stories that live on that we are remembered, so don’t forget the ‘tale bone’. Mary Ann
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Support
Hi! It’s been a few weeks since I posted anything. I think I was going through a dry spell, trying to think of new subjects to share how activities impact lives of those with dementia. However, much has happened in these past weeks to call me back to share with you.
During those weeks, I had to pull together the documentation to submit for updating my national certification as an activity director. That, in and of itself, reminded me of some of the wonderful opportunities I have had for learning more about dementia and activities in the past two years since my last renewal. In addition, it again struck the chord for why I so dearly love this professional field and an appreciation for how it impacts lives, mine included. When that certificate arrived in the mail this week, I framed it with gratitude.
Two weeks ago, I was privileged to go to the Ohio Health Care Conference with two colleges from a local retirement home where we presented on Activities and the Spiritual Side of Dementia. And during the past five weeks, my Saturday mornings have been joyously filled with training classes to be a volunteer with Hospice. That has been such a blessing in so many ways and this past Saturday, yesterday, was training on spirituality. I thought for a brief moment during the class, that I wish I would have had some of the wonderful information we were learning to have contributed to the talk we gave at the conference.
During our talk when we presented it, we mentioned that spirituality is what energizes you, what makes you smile, what brings joy to your heart. Yesterday I heard that proposed again but this time I was hearing it as it was being said to me. The words “You know you are tapping into your spirituality if it brings you energy,” had such a powerful impact on me! It was as if I was hearing it for the very first time.
Finally, this week, I was doing some work for a senior center and had the honor to talk with a woman who lost her husband to Alzheimer’s disease. What she shared touched my heart and replenished that verve in me to want to help the care providers across this country who are in need of support and interventions to make them feel as though they are not alone.
We talked about the support group she and her husband attended. She called it a “lifeline”. Such a powerful visual! We talked about funding to support these vital needs for the care provider and we talked about the need for hope in order to continue day to day with diagnosis that seems so void of hope.
That is where activities can offer a glimmer of optimism. They can bring energy on so many levels. .The energy of connectedness, the energy of finding something that makes one smile or makes a heart soar for even a moment. Support can come in many forms, and activities can be one of them, which in no way diminishes the importance of support groups where the bonding of experiences and sharing can take place.
While the use of the word activity seems to denote keeping a person busy, it is significant to note that passive activities can also energize. Bird watching, reminiscing, listening to music, looking through photos, watching a sunrise or sunset, listening to old time radio shows on tape, hand massage, doing familiar religious rituals, and petting a dog or cat are all examples of passive activities that can create a spark. Those who are living with dementia and are in their later years of life do not always have to keep busy. Activities are not as much about giving someone something to do as they are about giving back the desire to make an association with something that might give meaning if even for a moment. Mary Ann
During those weeks, I had to pull together the documentation to submit for updating my national certification as an activity director. That, in and of itself, reminded me of some of the wonderful opportunities I have had for learning more about dementia and activities in the past two years since my last renewal. In addition, it again struck the chord for why I so dearly love this professional field and an appreciation for how it impacts lives, mine included. When that certificate arrived in the mail this week, I framed it with gratitude.
Two weeks ago, I was privileged to go to the Ohio Health Care Conference with two colleges from a local retirement home where we presented on Activities and the Spiritual Side of Dementia. And during the past five weeks, my Saturday mornings have been joyously filled with training classes to be a volunteer with Hospice. That has been such a blessing in so many ways and this past Saturday, yesterday, was training on spirituality. I thought for a brief moment during the class, that I wish I would have had some of the wonderful information we were learning to have contributed to the talk we gave at the conference.
During our talk when we presented it, we mentioned that spirituality is what energizes you, what makes you smile, what brings joy to your heart. Yesterday I heard that proposed again but this time I was hearing it as it was being said to me. The words “You know you are tapping into your spirituality if it brings you energy,” had such a powerful impact on me! It was as if I was hearing it for the very first time.
Finally, this week, I was doing some work for a senior center and had the honor to talk with a woman who lost her husband to Alzheimer’s disease. What she shared touched my heart and replenished that verve in me to want to help the care providers across this country who are in need of support and interventions to make them feel as though they are not alone.
We talked about the support group she and her husband attended. She called it a “lifeline”. Such a powerful visual! We talked about funding to support these vital needs for the care provider and we talked about the need for hope in order to continue day to day with diagnosis that seems so void of hope.
That is where activities can offer a glimmer of optimism. They can bring energy on so many levels. .The energy of connectedness, the energy of finding something that makes one smile or makes a heart soar for even a moment. Support can come in many forms, and activities can be one of them, which in no way diminishes the importance of support groups where the bonding of experiences and sharing can take place.
While the use of the word activity seems to denote keeping a person busy, it is significant to note that passive activities can also energize. Bird watching, reminiscing, listening to music, looking through photos, watching a sunrise or sunset, listening to old time radio shows on tape, hand massage, doing familiar religious rituals, and petting a dog or cat are all examples of passive activities that can create a spark. Those who are living with dementia and are in their later years of life do not always have to keep busy. Activities are not as much about giving someone something to do as they are about giving back the desire to make an association with something that might give meaning if even for a moment. Mary Ann
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Hope
Happy Sunday! This past week we took a trip from Cleveland to New Jersey where we were privileged to participate in an Alzheimer’s education conference. It is exciting and rewarding to know that our products in The Brainy Day Activity Program are able to generate excitement and promote hope to care givers in many different forms providing care.
Hope is such a word of anticipation. Listening to the many people who came by our table at the conference, it was a repeated unspoken longing – that life for the individual and the life for the caregiver could be brighter and our Brainy Day Activity Program spawned that possibility for hope.
Interaction carries a built in hope that isn’t always realized, depending upon the ability of the individual with memory loss as well as the expectations of the one doing the interacting. Very often the social life of the person with dementia will decrease after the diagnosis because people have very low expectations that dialogue can happen. However, being social and connecting with others remains a core internal need and is an activity that is important to continue with the person.
Some of the guidelines for increasing the social interaction in the person with memory loss include:
1. Never argue with the person – This not only makes great sense, because, as anyone who has tried the route of the argument knows, it is a defeating waste of time and energy. It is close to impossible to try to convince the person with Alzheimer’s that they are wrong. It is also almost cruel to try to expect them to see things “realistically” when they are in the world of dementia. As a care provider, it also causes one to use up much negative energy and there is only so much overall get-up-and-go to be had each day. It makes sense to use the energy wisely.
2. Ask questions to engage the person but ask in such a way that you are giving them choices for the answer. For instance “do you like to use a fork or spoon?” Ask the question so that there is an “or” in the sentence.
3. “Help them” with sentences when they have difficulty finding words or finishing sentences by filling in the blanks or guiding them to the word in a very positive way. If they make a statement using an incorrect word or phrase, restate the sentence providing the correct information.
4. Make statements that provide associations for the person which relate to their past experiences. Say things that may help lead them into reminiscing. “I understand you had the best garden.” “You liked to plant flowers.”
All of these tips can help detour the difficulty of interacting and socializing together. Mary Ann
Hope is such a word of anticipation. Listening to the many people who came by our table at the conference, it was a repeated unspoken longing – that life for the individual and the life for the caregiver could be brighter and our Brainy Day Activity Program spawned that possibility for hope.
Interaction carries a built in hope that isn’t always realized, depending upon the ability of the individual with memory loss as well as the expectations of the one doing the interacting. Very often the social life of the person with dementia will decrease after the diagnosis because people have very low expectations that dialogue can happen. However, being social and connecting with others remains a core internal need and is an activity that is important to continue with the person.
Some of the guidelines for increasing the social interaction in the person with memory loss include:
1. Never argue with the person – This not only makes great sense, because, as anyone who has tried the route of the argument knows, it is a defeating waste of time and energy. It is close to impossible to try to convince the person with Alzheimer’s that they are wrong. It is also almost cruel to try to expect them to see things “realistically” when they are in the world of dementia. As a care provider, it also causes one to use up much negative energy and there is only so much overall get-up-and-go to be had each day. It makes sense to use the energy wisely.
2. Ask questions to engage the person but ask in such a way that you are giving them choices for the answer. For instance “do you like to use a fork or spoon?” Ask the question so that there is an “or” in the sentence.
3. “Help them” with sentences when they have difficulty finding words or finishing sentences by filling in the blanks or guiding them to the word in a very positive way. If they make a statement using an incorrect word or phrase, restate the sentence providing the correct information.
4. Make statements that provide associations for the person which relate to their past experiences. Say things that may help lead them into reminiscing. “I understand you had the best garden.” “You liked to plant flowers.”
All of these tips can help detour the difficulty of interacting and socializing together. Mary Ann
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