Honoring our Veterans

In honor of all those we remember on Memorial Day, I want to send a shout out of thanks to all veterans and their families. Since Memorial Day is meant for those who have given their lives or who have served our country and have since died, I would also like to make this a tribute in memory of them.
Some of the opportunities I have had when it comes to those who served in the armed forces who were diagnosed later in life with dementia, were occasions of enlightenment.
The experiences of going through boot camp, making friends while serving, and sharing what life in the military taught them, was something that could initiate reminiscence. My familiarity with the person’s service background was a help in knowing what questions to ask, but for the most part I learned to stay away from questions that dealt with war or fighting other than very general questions asking about when they served. While most people do not want to discuss the gruesome details of war, they all seem to enjoy the ‘stories’ they remember of push-ups expected, keeping their areas pristine, making beds with military corners, their sergeants, and meals - MRE’s - or mess tents. The majority have a story of why they chose the branch of service they did and what it was like for them the first day they put on the uniform and the first day they wore their dress uniform.
Even when a person’s dementia advanced beyond the stage of being able to reminisce, having a memory basket containing a flag, the cover/head covering of their particular service, an MRE if available, pictures, the symbol of their particular service and bars or awards that meant accomplishments are all things that can bring smiles or tears but more often than not would bring a look of pride.
One of the programs that The Hospice of the Western Reserve has here in Ohio is called the Peaceful and Proud program, which is about veterans honoring veterans. I do know from firsthand knowledge that any time a person in uniform would greet and salute the veteran, there was usually a connection made that was poignant.
Another activity that has been appreciated by many veterans with dementia is a sing-a-long of patriotic songs. The computer can provide the lyrics if needed, and it is amazing how many of the songs will create hand and toe tapping as well as sometimes actual singing.
Memorial Day is a good reminder to us of the need to pay tribute to the gift of service to our country that these men and women left as part of their legacy to us. Dementia does not change any of that. Part of providing care that is very person centered is taking the time to honor those who have honored us by their military service. Mary Ann