What About the Care Provider?

As we head into this week of Thanksgiving, I would like to use this opportunity to say thank you to all those out there who are providing care for someone with dementia. There are so many reasons to be grateful to them and most often the tasks they do each day can be taken for granted or get done without words of appreciation. So to each of you, and you know who you are, let me say YOU are a reason to give thanks this holiday.

I often think about care providers when I hear of those hosts who like to do gift give away shows. How wonderful it would be to shower presents on this wonderful group of giving people. And there are so many care providers out there who are dealing with Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia
The Alzheimer’s Association statistics say “An estimated $148 billion is spent annually on the care of AD, including costs for diagnosis, treatment, nursing home care, at-home care and lost wages. More than 70% of those with Alzheimer's live at home. The national average lifetime cost of the disease per patient is $200,000.
Alzheimer's also affects the patient's caregivers, who become the second victims. Persons with AD often require 24-hour care and supervision, most of which is provided in the home by family and friends. In addition to the tremendous stress of providing care, families also bear most of the financial burdens of the disease as well. “ So, when time and money is consumed with tasks related to caring for another, how does a care provider take time or find the money to take care of themselves, especially if the income does not allow outside help on a regular basis? I know myself how exhausting and overwhelming it can become if there are long stretches of time without a break.

In addition, evidence has proven that in order to give better care, it is essential that a care giver nurture themselves. More importantly, care is filled with stresses, which can adversely affect health if one doesn’t care for themselves.

1. If there is an Alzheimer’s Association support group in your area and it is possible to get away to go to one, they are often helpful. Just hearing that others are in the same boat can provide a boost all by itself. Some have respite during the meeting which makes it easier to attend.
2. See if the Alzheimer’s Association in your area has a respite reimbursement program for Home Care or Adult Day so you can get away for short periods of time.
3. Think of one thing that either relaxes or energizes you and give yourself the gift of making it possible to give yourself time for it. I find sewing very relaxing and so I enjoyed doll making as an escape and release.
4. Consider books on tape if you used to like to read and can no longer find much time for it. I love to clean house with a book on tape or CD. For me, it is like being in another world while the work gets done. Depending on the person, individuals with dementia have enjoyed listening too. Many libraries have services where they can come into the home to deliver books on tape.
5. Invite a friend over for a visit. It is important that you stay in touch with friends as well as the outside world.
6. Pick your battles. You only have so much energy. Depleting that energy to argue is not good self-care. Save the arguments and your energy for th safety issues.
7. Finally, go easy on yourself. As care providers, it is easy to be hard on the times we become impatient or frustrated or cranky. Allow forgiveness for being human. And appreciate what an enormous gift your care provides.

Happy Thanksgiving, Mary Ann