A Diamond in the Rough

I was out walking the dogs (two of them) and enjoying the sun sparkling on the leftover snow piles along the road. The dazzling glitter looked like diamonds scattered along the road. It made me reflect on how often being a care provider is like looking for a diamond in all the rough. In fact, I have heard care givers over the years talk about how much they look and hope for those moments that could be considered “sparkle moments”. Sometimes one day can seem like a long bleak winter season and any breakthrough of sunshine is a cause for pause.
There are periods in most every relationship between the care provider and the person with dementia when a long interlude of confusion is met with a moment of clarity. Some care providers have seen this as confusing and questions arise; Things like wondering if the person has been “faking it”, or if there is more ability than they realized. Those moments cause doubts for the care provider which isn’t the most welcoming of feelings.
What has been explained by medical professionals is that there are times when the chemicals in the brain cause the neurons to “fire” and the instant of transparency will happen. The reaction to these moments is a good focus for us today in respect to activities. Being “in the moment” if at all possible can be rewarding.
First, see if there is something what has triggered the person. I remember a time working with a woman who, for months, said very little. At the time, we were interacting in an adult day center. Although she was quiet and passive in the groups, it was obvious that she was attentive to what was going on around her, by her facial expressions. One day we were having a discussion about Martin Luther King and she became animated. When the attention went to her direction she spoke, clearly, about being his neighbor and discussing in his home many of the things that had become historic. We were all amazed, as was her daughter. That moment of conversation did not repeat itself but the little window of opportunity gave us a new perspective for interaction with her.
Another time the same type of thing happened was when working with a woman who spent most of her day enjoying looking out the window. Thinking she enjoyed the outdoors, we spent time taking her to the garden and the pond at the nursing home. In a clarity moment, however, she talked about dancing under the stars. Asking her husband, we found out that she used to love to dance. So it gave us the opportunity to get her out of her wheelchair at least once a week during our music and entertainment activities and dance with her husband. It meant staff being close by but watching the two of them dance was a moving experience each time for them, for the other residents and staff. Their faces during those few moments were ones their daughter captured in a picture.
Secondly, use the moment as a source for connecting. Document what happened for other members of the team. If it is something that can be built upon where another simple activity can be introduced, do it. For instance, if a past memory is evoked by the person, see if there are any pictures that could be found to use as an activity. One gentleman I worked with asked me in his clarity moment if I liked the music of his favorite jazz artist. I did not know the artist, but we looked it up together on the computer and it was a great way to talk about him. In addition, I went to the library and got some of his music so we could listen together, which the man truly enjoyed.
Activities can make a difference in the “sparkle moments” if we look at those flashes of memory as a detour sign to show us another way to relate and connect Mary Ann