Awards

This week the anticipation of the Oscar is in the air. Commercials, news reports and other specials are getting us ready for the big night tonight when it is determined who will win the statue for the best performance.
When I thought about it, I had to smile because my mind went immediately to the thought of giving out Oscars for challenging behaviors when it comes to dementia. If only it were that easy!
And the Oscar goes to ……..!
What can replace Oscars, though, is a personalized activity. When I think of the years of stories that have been told about behaviors or the ones I have experienced myself, they could read like small screen plays. Sometimes the script was a drama, like the time that there was a man who was confined to bed and toward the end of life but missed being part of music groups and singing. We would have the music activities close to his room so he could hear and we would have the entertainers have a session with him after the larger group ended but the desire of his heart was to be part of the group. It took several weeks of negotiating but we were able to get his bed wheeled out into the group one day and let him have his wish. He so enjoyed the time! And his joy was apparent and contagious.
Best supporting role could go to a woman whose family shared that she enjoyed having family parties and entertaining most of her life. The dementia she had made it difficult to function day to day at home let alone entertain anymore. We asked her to help us by greeting people coming into an activity. She was the perfect “hostess” who made everyone feel welcome and the action of her hospitality was an award for her and for all the others who came into the activity.
There are many nominations for best music, but I think I would say that the one who would win the award in my experiences was the women who, because of strokes could not play the piano as they used to. However they each had one functional hand to make music happen and sitting together at the piano, they could play songs and make beautiful melodies.
I think of the woman who used to scavenge rosary beads after rosary each week but when we went to reclaim them, we could never find where she put them. She won the honor for best mystery. The activity that helped solve future disappearances was to have her in charge of helping us to collect all of the beads. Then, with profuse thanking and praise, we could get her to give them to us to use for the following week.
The most numerous nominations and even awards in my heart would be for comedy. There is so much, when working with these wonderful people, which gives cause to make one smile. Most of the time being too serious just doesn’t work in the industry of activity professionals. In order to be creative, produce the work that is necessary, reach the core of the people being served, and make it all look like it is easy, is not the kind of job that lends itself to the inability to see the funny side of life. So when I think of the time I had to escort a woman to the car in the rain and she said these lines “Yes, that’s right, get an old woman’s feet and head wet. And when I get sick and die tomorrow, it’ll be on your shoulders.” My heart was in my throat when she was saying the words, but later, when she was just fine, I could see the humor. I also made sure any future trips had every conceivable accessory for “just in case” weather scenarios.
Activities can be considered Academy Awards in the definition that they are “treasures” that acknowledge and/or reward an action that communicates something. Sometimes, depending on the way participation happens, the activity is even like a performance. But most important are the individuals who benefit from their involvement in the activities. We all are winners because of them but they are the stars. Mary Ann